Originally posted: March 10, 2006 - Friday
Recently, I realized something about myself: I have these preposterous dreams of romance that never seem to come true. I'm not sure if I'm in love with the thought of love or if I am addicted to the pain of trying to reach something unattainable. For some reason, I keep trying to make things work with people who are just plain difficult to work with. And, why do I keep trying? I'm such a romantic at heart and I just keep on getting disappointed. Maybe I should just get rid of my expectations... expect the worst and when something good happens, I'll be pleasantly surprised. But, how depressing is that? No matter how many times someone shows me their true colors and I get knocked off my high horse, I get right back up and my heart takes another beating. It's so funny because I'm not even writing this in response to anything that my S.O. (significant other) has done. In fact, things are WONDERFUL between us. It's just that last night, I was having a conversation with my girl and we were discussing all the f*&($% up stuff that's happened to us in the last couple of years and it made me realize that love is for babies and fools...
and, I am neither, so what's a girl to do?
Edit to add: Currently (at the end of 2007) me and that S.O. to whom I was referring above ^^^ are no longer together nor are we even civil to one another. Wow. I guess things HAVE changed. LOL!