Almost happy ending...

Originally posted: October 11, 2006 - Wednesday

Not calling any names, but a friend of mine called me and told me a story that sounds awfully familiar. I've heard the same set of facts, repeatedly, from a number of female friends and associates.

The story goes something like this: Girl meets boy. The attraction is undeniable. Sparks fly. Boy and Girl go on a date. By all accounts, they have an amazing time. They laugh, they flirt, they end the night on a high note. Boy says he will call. And, at first he does. He calls, and calls and calls. Then, he stops. It always starts out with Boy saying/text messaging/emailing something vague like, "I'll call you when I get home." Two days pass. No call. Apparently, Boy still hasn't made it home.. or else he would've called, right? Wrong. Girl begins to do ridiculous things (not directed at anyone specifically - we've ALL done it) like call the Transit Authority to make sure that the trains have been running for the last two days. Maybe the train he took is stuck in a tunnel and he has been unable to get reception. Girl, please! The next call is to the hospital. He must be in ICU. Gimme a break! Final call is placed to the police station. It's possible that he could've been in a car accident. Or possibly, he has been jailed for lewd behavior or public drunkenness. You wish it were that simple! No such luck, honey. Boy is probably sitting at home as happy as an alcoholic in an open bar. With someone else. Or with nobody else. But, certainly NOT with Girl. And, this makes Girl very sad.

Ok, let's analyze this situation. 9 of ten times, if Boy is interested in Girl, he will call when he wants to talk to her. Unless he is too busy to call. And then, he will call when he is not busy anymore. There are exceptions. He may have been hurt. He may be incarcerated. He may have lost his cell phone and, thus, lost your number. But, again, 9 of ten times, that is not the case. If he likes you, he WILL call. If he wants to. If he hasn't called, he doesn't want to. I know... it sounds so simple. But, for some reason, women just can't get this picture. If a guy is interested, he will do things to let you know that he is interested. He may start off as being interested and, thus, do things to let you know that he is. When he stops doing those things, he is no longer interested. 1+2=3.

We have ALL been Girl at one point in our lives. And, every man that we know has been Boy. Truth is, (and I am NOT a guy.. I was just raised like one) a man wants to be able to exit a relationship while making as few waves as possible. He doesn't want to ruffle any feathers. And wants to avoid a confrontation where he has to explain the reasons why he doesn't like you anymore. Women want closure, plain and simple. And, men will do anything and everything to keep a woman from getting it.

In these situations, I say let him go. Delete his number from your cell phone address book. Throw his emails into the "Deleted" folder. And with that, delete him from your mind. Women tend to mourn the idea of what could have been. But, what could have been never was... and how could you be sad about something that you never had in the first place? As I recently told one Girl, "Boy disappointed you because you had EXPECTATIONS for him and he did not meet those expectations. This means that he is NOT what you EXPECTED. This also means that he is not the one for you." It's a hard pill for a Girl to swallow. After all, Girl is beautiful, smart, sexy, sophisticated, witty and elegant and well-traveled. How could Boy not want her? Well, this Boy did not want her. BUT SOME OTHER BOY DOES. Guaranteed! And, instead of Girl wasting her time trying to find out why bad Boy doesn't want her, she should spend her time bettering herself so that she can be the best Girl she can be until a good Boy comes along later.

The next time one of my Girls calls me/emails/text messages me to say that Boy is up to no good, I will tell her to remember that Boys will be Boys. And she should K.I.M until the next Boy comes along.

Smarten up ladies! If a Boy is what you want, there are tons out there to be had. Trust! Just be sure that you don't waste your time trying to get a man that doesn't want to get got. If he's not calling, it's cause he doesn't want to talk. To YOU. And that's ok. You don't want a man that doesn't want to be with you equally or more than you want to be with him. So don't mourn the end of that relationship. MOVE ON. And maybe your next "Boy Meets Girl" story will have a happy ending.