The Husband of My Dreams is... KANYE??

I had the strangest dream last night. Dreams are the weirdest things sometimes. This dream was totally unrelated to anything I had been thinking about before bedtime. But, my father always says that strange dreams can be triggered by eating too much sugar before bed. With this being the holiday season and all, I have to admit that I was guilty of a sugar-binge before I passed out in my bed around 11pm. I had eaten a rather large chocolate chip-pecan cookie AND had indulged in a few handfuls of Harry and David’s delicious Moose Munch confection, an early Christmas gift from my mother.

At any rate, I remember this dream vividly. Lots of times, I have crazy dreams and I wake up with no recollection of them other than knowing that the dream made absolutely no sense. My dreams tend to haunt me during daylight hours as the feelings that I exhibited in the dream stay with me and I have a hard time shaking them. I have also had a few precognitive (def: knowledge of a future event or situation, esp. through extrasensory means. Source: dictionary.com) dreams. When I was a kid, my grandmother used to call me Samantha, after the main character in “Bewitched” because she said that I had ESP. I used to know things and people before I was really supposed to know them. I don’t have full use of that skill anymore. I guess when you’re a kid and your mind is more pure, it is more perceptive to those kinds of things.

Anyway, last night: I dreamed that I was in my grandparents’ old house – the one they lived in before my grandpa died – or at least some place that looked very much like it. I was in what looked like their basement and I was getting ready to go out somewhere. I was alone. All of a sudden, I need to go to the bathroom, so I walk to the bathroom door and knock. Inside is a kind-of-pretty girl dressed in a beautiful wedding dress. I tell her she looks pretty and she thanks me. I close the door again. Next thing you know, we have been transported to a huge event space and there are a bunch of people sitting around at tables. I get the feeling that I am at a wedding reception, but I am not sure. I am actually standing on a stage in front of all these people next to a woman dressed to the nines. She is holding a microphone. Next to me is the girl I saw in the bathroom and she is fidgeting nervously. The woman on the mic says, “Ok, ladies and gentlemen, we are here to see who is going to marry Kanye West. May the best woman win!” The crowd bursts into applause and people are sitting on the edge of their seats. The woman walks over to me and the other girl and stands between us, putting her arms around us both. And she says “Watch that door right over there. If your friends and family come out dressed as the wedding party, then you have won Kanye’s heart.” (I know this is crazy, just bare with me!)

I anxiously watch the door and realize that, obviously, I have entered myself in some sort of contest to marry Kanye and I am a finalist.

Slowly, the door opens and out come my three best friends, wearing yellow bridesmaid dresses and my nieces wearing little yellow flower girl dresses. Standing behind them is my father dressed in a tux and he is cheering. I fall to my knees and start screaming and crying hysterically and the crowd is on their feet clapping and jumping up and down. I cannot describe the sheer relief, excitement, and satisfaction that I am feeling. I am going to marry Kanye!! The other girl is standing next to me sobbing. The woman with the microphone is rubbing the girl’s back and gently leads her away.

“Go get dressed!” my father shouts, while patting me on my back. I go back into the room that looks like my grandparents’ basement again and change into the dress that the other girl had been wearing when the dream began. Again, I am alone.

I walk back out into the event space and now everyone is wearing regular clothing. Kanye is there and he comes over and takes my hand. It is clear that we are in love. He squeezes my hand and we walk to the front of the room and there is something setup there that looks like the Jeopardy game board, television screens and all.

The same woman who had been onstage with me before says, “If the two of you can tell me when you fell in love, you will win a prize. Pick from the options on the board.”

The options are things like “In Church” and “On a picnic in the park”. I ask him if he remembers. He says he doesn’t. I say I don’t remember either. Even in the dream, I think it is weird that I cannot remember when I fell in love with my “husband”. That is very unlike me.

The woman says, “Awww! They don’t remember! You lose.” And then I woke up.

Now, I have no idea what this means. My mother says that maybe I feel sorry for Kanye given his recent tragedy. I say that maybe I’ve been watching too much reality TV for my own good. The strangest thing about this all is that, while I admire Kanye’s sense of style and am strangely attracted to his confidence/arrogance, he has never been on my… “To Do” list, if you get my drift. I have just never had a thing for him. But, last night, he was my husband. And it felt great. I woke up this morning at the crack of dawn feeling euphoric, but I know it’s just the lingering feelings of the dream that are sticking with me.

I know. Weird…

I am not at all suggesting that this dream is precognitive in any way. But, I had not been thinking of Kanye AT ALL before this dream. So, that’s why it’s so alarming. Of all celebrities, why did Kanye have to be the one I was marrying? Why couldn’t it be Blair Underwood or… Idris Elba, or even… Diddy? But, Kanye?? Makes no sense whatsoever.

Anyway, peace and blessings to Kanye this holiday season – the “husband of my dreams”. Literally!

Merry Christmas, everyone!