WTF?

This is a throw-back joint from July '07. I wrote it, but never posted it and found it this morning when I was cleaning out my inbox. Just some "random thoughts" about some stuff that's not even really news anymore. But, anyhoo, enjoy...

For the last few weeks, I’ve been attempting to make a career change, packing my things to move to a new space, and fighting off both a sinus infection and a stomach virus. Despite all the things going on in my life, I’ve had a million and one thoughts about a million and one things running through my head. I really have been meaning to sit down and put all these thoughts on paper, but I just haven’t had the time. But, tonight, after I just packed another slew of boxes, I decided that it was high time for me to purge my mind and write a blog (or two). I have no clue if you people even read these things, but then, I’ve had things that I’ve written in my blogs thrown up in my face during face-to-face convos. So, I guess someone is reading. Anyway, here goes nothing…

As I instant message my friends on a daily basis, I recognize that there are three little letters that I overuse in online conversations. No, believe it or not, it’s not L-O-L. Instead, the three letters that I cannot stop typing are W-T-F. As in, “what the f-ck?!”. The thing I love about WTF is that it can be a statement like: What, the f-ck. Or, it can be a question like: …what the f-ck?! The reasoning behind the frequent use of these letters is that I genuinely find a lot of things puzzling. When I was in middle school, Arsenio Hall started using the phrase, “things that make you go hmmm…” and when I encounter one of those “hmmm” inducing people/places/things, it makes me wonder “WTF”? BTW (another overused phrase), WTF ever happened to Arsenio anyway? Haven’t seen/heard from him in YEARS!

At any rate, I was thinking that I might start a little mini-series of blogs that would focus on things that make me go WTF. Who knows if I’ll actually follow-through with this. (I have also recently noticed that I am very bad about follow-through. VERY bad.) Anyway, I’ll start with a few short WTFs.

1. WTF is up with your girl Britney Spears? I know, I know. Britney has been a little… off… for a few years now. But, recently, the chick has been completely gone. I mean, she decided, on a whim, to shave her head. And I was fine with that. I could almost respect that decision to one day be like “f-ck it! I’m tired of this shit” and cut it all off. For whatever reason. Bad hair day? Simple solution. Cut the shit off! And, the girl was going through some thangs – to say the least – when she did the big chop. So, even though I recognized that she clearly wasn’t using her best judgment at the time, I could rock with her decision a little bit. But, then, her crazy ass started coming out in wigs. All the time. Like, really y’all, ALL the time. And I was like, WTF is up with doing something drastic like that and then covering it up and proving to us that what you did was not out of empowerment, but confusion? Clearly, she’s ashamed of her decision. And, it hasn’t gotten any better with time. The big chop was months ago and she is STILL rocking wigs. And cheap ones at that! You mean to tell me with all her money she couldn’t go and find one of those lacefronts all the celebs wear? If she had trouble locating one, she could’ve contacted Beyonce or Tyra since it is obvious that neither of them know how to leave the house without one. So, I am still saying WTF about Britney after all this time. She truly confounds me.

2. WTF is up with Michael Vick and this dog-fighting business? For kicks, you like to watch living beings maul the shit out of each other? You can’t be serious. Again, like Britney, take a look at all the money that Michael Vick has… it’s somewhere in the neighborhood of hundreds of millions of dollars… and this is what he does to get his rocks off? Pathetic. Honestly, I never really had much respect for the man, but after this, the little that I had is totally out the window. He’s a hot ghetto mess for real. BET should dedicate a whole episode of that show to this man and his antics.

3. WTF is the purpose of Late Night Shots? For those of you who don’t know about it, it’s like a MySpace for rich white people. No, I’m serious. Like, don’t logon to the site if you plan on referring to your new deck shoes as “loafers”. Apparently, that’s a serious faux pas. If you don’t own a pair of deck shoes, you are not even invited to visit Late Night Shots. The site goes something like: instead of the “friends” any normal person would have on MySpace or Facebook, members of Late Night Shots have “drinking buddies” that you hope will accept you so that you’re not seen as some social leper. The site is a great place to discuss whether you should wear pearls to a polo match or who hooked up at the latest Thursday night party at Town Hall in Georgetown. (If you’ve never heard of Town Hall, then boy this site is REALLY not for you!) It’s pretty lame IMO (“in my opinion” – for those of you who aren’t familiar with internet lingo). I don’t have all the info on this site, but I’m sure that after I do gain more insight about its members and purpose, I will have many more WTF questions.

4. Harry Potter. WTF. I mean, really. WTF? My 50+ year old aunt (by marriage – lemme make that PERFECTLY clear) told me this weekend that when the newest Harry Potter movie opened, she was in line for the movie dressed in a black cape and a witch hat and people were asking to take pictures with her for memories. WTF. Gimme a effin break. You are 50+ and dressing like a witch to go see a movie? Get a life! My coworker bought the newest book on Saturday (I guess) and had finished it by this morning. She came to work talking about the fact that she and her entire family, including her grandfather who is 80+ went to a Midnight Madness party (or something like that) to celebrate the release of the book. Again, get a life. I can think of a few more… interesting… mature… SANE… things to do at midnight on a Friday night other than waiting in line to buy a book about a boy wizard. Now, I’m sure that many of you will disagree with my assessment of the Harry Potter books. The first thing that people want to ask me when I let them know that I am soooo not into the phenomenon is “Have you even read a book?” or “Have you ever seen one of the movies?” Well, guess what all you Harry Potter FREAKS out there – Yes, I have! I read the first two books and have seen quite a few of the movies. The books, I’ve read of my own volition (I decided there was no need to venture further after book two). The movies I’ve watched because my nieces are into the franchise and have forced me to watch the movies with them. While I’ll say that the special effects are great in the movies, I will also say that I find something fundamentally wrong with glorifying witchcraft and ghosts and goblins and all that nonsense. Despite the so-called “positive themes” of friendship and bravery and the like, it is still told from the point of view of someone who is a wizard. And there is a such thing as “dark magic” in these books/movies, which is – on some level – Satanic… believe what you will. Maybe people will think I’m uptight when I say that I just don’t get the hype and don’t get why certain people would think it ok to romanticize something so morbid. Now, I’m a bookworm, no doubt. And I respect anything that leads people to literature. It fits into my philosophy of if more people read books regularly, the world would be a better place. BUT, it’s still a bunch of BS. The books aren’t THAT great. And the fact that so many people are hooked on them and on the movies leads me to believe that maybe magic is real after all and J.K. Rowling put a spell on all you Harry Potter-heads to make you buy into this craziness. I guess it goes back to the old adage: to each his own. It’s obviously not a series for me, but if you like it then I love it (for YOU).