Hit & Run

Originally posted: December 12, 2006 - Tuesday

Friday night, I was riding through Dupont Circle in D.C. with two of my girlfriends. We had just come back from seeing the White House Christmas tree and having Mexican and margaritas at Lauriol Plaza. One of my girls lives in Glover Park and to get from Adams Morgan to her house, I decided to pick up Massachusetts Avenue from Dupont. As we're going through the circle, a man in a BMW X5 is laying on his horn, trying to cut in front of two men in a Jaguar. My friends and I are laughing. What is his crazy ass really trying to accomplish with all the horn blowing?? But, it's becoming clear that the man in the X5 is getting more and more agitated as the men in the Jag refuse to move.

Just then, two men walk behind my car and in front of the X5. The traffic gives way just a little bit and the man in the X5 takes off. Before I saw what happened, I already knew that one of the men would be hit. And, I was right.

The front of the X5 hit the man in the black hat square in his middle. And the X5 kept going for a few feet before the pedestrian fell off the hood and into the oncoming traffic. At this point, all hell breaks loose in my car. My girlfriends are screaming. I am screaming. Pedestrians on the street are stopping and staring. The man who has been hit, gets up slowly, calmly, and walks to the driver's side of the X5. His friend follows closely behind. I start to drive away because I have no idea what is about to pop off, but I know that I don't want to be in the vicinity when it happens. One of my friends in the car, who had recently lost a friend to a road rage incident, urged me to get moving. So I hightailed it out of there. I am still watching things unfold (out of my side view mirrors). I see that, before the men reach the driver, the light changes and the X5 speeds past my car, through the circle and down Massachusetts Avenue.

Now, I'm a lawyer, so it's in my nature to gather evidence. Before the X5 got through the next traffic light, I committed the license plate number to memory. The passengers in my car sat in silence, letting things sink in. I felt bad. Like someone should do something. I was five seconds away from turning the car around and going back to see if the injured pedestrian needed help. But, then I thought, there are people whose job description speaks to exactly this kind of incident. I told my friend in the front passenger seat to call the police. She dialed 911. She did not put the phone on speaker, but I could hear the dispatcher loud and clear. "911 emergency… HELLO?!?" The woman was speaking very loudly and addressed my friend with a very nasty attitude. Soon, the woman's voice lost its volume and my friend began to report what we had seen. I could only hear one side of the conversation at this point, but it went something like this:

Friend: I'd like to report a hit and run accident.

Me: (whispering) A pedestrian was struck on Dupont Circle

Friend: (repeating) A pedestrian was struck on Dupont Circle

**pause**

Friend: No, I didn't hit anyone. I witnessed someone else hit a pedestrian on Dupont Circle

**pause**

Friend: It happened about ten minutes ago

Me: Five minutes ago

Friend: (repeating) Five minutes ago

**pause**

Friend: No, the man got up and walked away. I mean, I think he was ok, but the car just hit him and sped off

**pause**

Friend: Well, the reason I am calling is because we have the license plate number of the car that hit the pedestrian

**LONG pause**

Friend: Well, what if the pedestrian calls to report the accident?

**pause**

Friend: Ok, thank you. Good night.

My friend never gave the dispatcher the information. I ask her what happened. She says that the dispatcher said that nobody else had reported the accident and that she had "no place to store the license plate information". So, she didn't even want to hear it. WTF?! A man… an innocent pedestrian… was hit by an SUV and knocked into traffic. I have the information that can help you find out the identity of the driver of that SUV and you don't want to take the information… because you have NO PLACE TO STORE IT?? If the pedestrian does decide to ever report this incident to the police, he won't have all the information necessary to locate the driver. I'm quite sure he didn't have the time to jot down the make, model and license plate number of the car that mowed him down.

We sat, for the second time in complete and total silence. We were dumfounded that a 911 dispatcher, a person who is supposed to assist police in making sure that justice is being served, would not want information that could possibly help police locate a very reckless driver. Not only was the woman incompetent and uncompassionate, she was ghetto… and rude!

So, there you have it. The best (White House Christmas tree, margaritas at Lauriol) and the worst (incompetent 911 dispatchers, reckless drivers, impossible traffic) of the Nation's Capital.

BTW, we kept the license plate information just in case. Not sure what we'll do with it.

Just had to share…

Almost happy ending...

Originally posted: October 11, 2006 - Wednesday

Not calling any names, but a friend of mine called me and told me a story that sounds awfully familiar. I've heard the same set of facts, repeatedly, from a number of female friends and associates.

The story goes something like this: Girl meets boy. The attraction is undeniable. Sparks fly. Boy and Girl go on a date. By all accounts, they have an amazing time. They laugh, they flirt, they end the night on a high note. Boy says he will call. And, at first he does. He calls, and calls and calls. Then, he stops. It always starts out with Boy saying/text messaging/emailing something vague like, "I'll call you when I get home." Two days pass. No call. Apparently, Boy still hasn't made it home.. or else he would've called, right? Wrong. Girl begins to do ridiculous things (not directed at anyone specifically - we've ALL done it) like call the Transit Authority to make sure that the trains have been running for the last two days. Maybe the train he took is stuck in a tunnel and he has been unable to get reception. Girl, please! The next call is to the hospital. He must be in ICU. Gimme a break! Final call is placed to the police station. It's possible that he could've been in a car accident. Or possibly, he has been jailed for lewd behavior or public drunkenness. You wish it were that simple! No such luck, honey. Boy is probably sitting at home as happy as an alcoholic in an open bar. With someone else. Or with nobody else. But, certainly NOT with Girl. And, this makes Girl very sad.

Ok, let's analyze this situation. 9 of ten times, if Boy is interested in Girl, he will call when he wants to talk to her. Unless he is too busy to call. And then, he will call when he is not busy anymore. There are exceptions. He may have been hurt. He may be incarcerated. He may have lost his cell phone and, thus, lost your number. But, again, 9 of ten times, that is not the case. If he likes you, he WILL call. If he wants to. If he hasn't called, he doesn't want to. I know... it sounds so simple. But, for some reason, women just can't get this picture. If a guy is interested, he will do things to let you know that he is interested. He may start off as being interested and, thus, do things to let you know that he is. When he stops doing those things, he is no longer interested. 1+2=3.

We have ALL been Girl at one point in our lives. And, every man that we know has been Boy. Truth is, (and I am NOT a guy.. I was just raised like one) a man wants to be able to exit a relationship while making as few waves as possible. He doesn't want to ruffle any feathers. And wants to avoid a confrontation where he has to explain the reasons why he doesn't like you anymore. Women want closure, plain and simple. And, men will do anything and everything to keep a woman from getting it.

In these situations, I say let him go. Delete his number from your cell phone address book. Throw his emails into the "Deleted" folder. And with that, delete him from your mind. Women tend to mourn the idea of what could have been. But, what could have been never was... and how could you be sad about something that you never had in the first place? As I recently told one Girl, "Boy disappointed you because you had EXPECTATIONS for him and he did not meet those expectations. This means that he is NOT what you EXPECTED. This also means that he is not the one for you." It's a hard pill for a Girl to swallow. After all, Girl is beautiful, smart, sexy, sophisticated, witty and elegant and well-traveled. How could Boy not want her? Well, this Boy did not want her. BUT SOME OTHER BOY DOES. Guaranteed! And, instead of Girl wasting her time trying to find out why bad Boy doesn't want her, she should spend her time bettering herself so that she can be the best Girl she can be until a good Boy comes along later.

The next time one of my Girls calls me/emails/text messages me to say that Boy is up to no good, I will tell her to remember that Boys will be Boys. And she should K.I.M until the next Boy comes along.

Smarten up ladies! If a Boy is what you want, there are tons out there to be had. Trust! Just be sure that you don't waste your time trying to get a man that doesn't want to get got. If he's not calling, it's cause he doesn't want to talk. To YOU. And that's ok. You don't want a man that doesn't want to be with you equally or more than you want to be with him. So don't mourn the end of that relationship. MOVE ON. And maybe your next "Boy Meets Girl" story will have a happy ending.

Get a LIFE!!!

Originally posted: March 28, 2006 - Tuesday

This weekend, while flipping through the channels, I heard a character on some random show say something very profound. She said "A woman can spend her whole life waiting for a man." I missed the next five minutes of the show just reflecting on that statement. And, I realized that it is sooooo true! From the time we are very small, women are told through fairy tales and songs and even games, that one day a man will come along to save them from themselves and/or to "complete" their lives. And, we women buy into this falsehood hook, line and sinker. Think back to the stories of your youth. Cinderella, one of the most popular fairy tales, involves a young, beautiful, helpless woman living a pretty messed up life. Things don't get better for her until her "Prince Charming" comes along. Sleeping Beauty tells little girls that one can be rescued from a coma by some random Prince. Snow White well, that's a whole other story. She needed EIGHT men to survive (Seven dwarfs and a Prince) . All of these women are described as young, beautiful and HELPLESS. And none of them stood a chance out here in this world without the assistance of the noble Prince who acts valiantly only because she was beautiful enough to be worthy of his help.

As a result, women wait around for their whole lives - many believing that some day a man will come along and rescue them. But, I'm hoping that more and more women are recognizing that they no longer need to be rescued. In fact, they NEVER needed to be rescued in the first place. I hope that they are realizing that fairy tales are a bunch of bullshit. Sometimes we need to be reminded that these stories are not real life. And, we need not put our lives on hold in anticipation of some man coming along to complete us. Reflecting on the statement of that character on said show, I'm realizing that what she meant was that some women WASTE their lives waiting for a man. And, that's just sad.

So, here's the challenge. Women of today: Live your lives with reckless abandon! Don't have a coronary at the thought that your Prince Charming might never arrive. Instead, recognize that you might have to "settle" for being HAPPILY SINGLE (which could turn out to be a lot more fun than UNHAPPILY ATTACHED) and move on with your lives. Be a complete person NOW! Don't wait for a man to "complete" you, because if you think it takes the affection of another person to make you complete, then you're pretty pathetic anyway. Get busy. Go see movies, plays and concerts; go get a luxurious mani and pedi; have brunch with your girlfriends; walk your dog; babysit for your nieces and nephews; read a book; write a book; mix up a pitcher of martinis and guzzle the entire thing before you make it to the couch; catch a Lakers game AT the STAPLES CENTER a change of scenery is GOOD! Do whatever you want! Just, whatever you do, don't waste your time seeking love. Let love come find you. Besides, with your new fun, exciting, stimulating single life you may no longer want to be found