Monday, February 14, 2011

The Blogger's Dilemma

A unique set of challenges face anyone who decides to share intimate details of their lives with a bunch of strangers. These are the sort of challenges that face people who, say, write a memoir, or star in a reality show. And it certainly effects people who blog. Especially when the subject you blog about is relationships. And particularly when those relationships about which you’re blogging are ROMANTIC relationships. When you make the decision to blog about your personal life – or any aspect of your life really – you basically have to be comfortable with all your sh*t being in plain view. And that can get messy. I know people who have lost friends over details they’ve published in a blog post. I have heard of people who have lost jobs because of things they published in a blog post. And I have personally experienced the wrath of a partner when he discovers that you’ve been writing about the ins and outs of your relationship on a blog for the world to read. Now, let’s face it, the world ain’t reading this blog, but I do hope that someone other than me is reading it. I guess that says something about me – that I would share my personal thoughts, feelings, beliefs, hurts, triumphs, failures, etc., on the inner-nets. Is it weird? I guess. I have a lot to say, and my blog gives me a forum to say it.

Sometimes, I struggle with how much I should share on this blog. My blog is not private, so anyone can happen upon it and my soul is laid out for all to see on these few pages. But, giving it more thought, I’m not sure that I’m saying anything here that I wouldn’t say to someone straight to their face. Or, maybe I’m lying about that. My words are stronger in writing than they are when I give them a voice. I’m just more articulate in written form. So even though I wouldn’t necessarily be “scared” to say any of the stuff I write here, I may be less likely to actually verbalize it because it wouldn’t come out as clearly.

But in terms of what I would be willing to share about my private life, I’m pretty much known to be an open book. I have friends that will hook up with a dude and nobody will ever know it because they won’t admit to it… even to their closest friends. I’m not like that. When it comes to most aspects of my life, I’m an open book. For example, I went on a date this past weekend (more about that later… maybe), and this guy, who was REALLY into me, btw, was asking me a ton of questions. I mean, questions about everything, i.e., “How tall are you exactly?”, “Where did you go to undergrad?”, “Are you an only child?”, “Are your parents still together?”, “What made you decide to go into your current field?”, “When was the last time you were in a serious relationship?”, and so on, and so forth. And I replied. To every single question. Toward the end of the date, he said “You’re so easy to talk to. I ask you a question, and you answer it.” To which I replied, “Well, isn’t that what you’re supposed to do when a question is asked?” And he said “You’d be surprised. Some women are very secretive.”

I was discussing that comment with my mother as we had our post-date recap. She said “That doesn’t surprise me.” And I said “It doesn’t? It surprises the heck out of me. It wasn’t like he was asking uncomfortable or extremely probing questions. It was conversation; an attempt to get to know another person. What would’ve been the harm in answering?” My mother says, “Well, the reason you were so comfortable with sharing is because you have nothing to hide.” Hmm… perhaps she has a point. I’m not embarrassed of anything that has happened to me, I’m not embarrassed of my family who – for better or for worse – have had their own questionable moments in history, I’m not worried about what people might think of me given my career choices. Okay, well… that’s not necessarily true (more on that later, too… maybe). But the bottom line is that I don’t see anything wrong with bearing my soul. What’s the big deal? It’s how I feel. I don’t care if you know that’s how I feel. I think that people who are more guarded with their opinions might see something very wrong with sharing so much of their inner thoughts. But, not me! And y’all get to reap the benefits of my loose lips. You get to know my life… whether you wanna know it or not. But then again, I guess you must wanna know all my business if you are choosing to read this blog. *shrug* Don’t take that as an insult; I’m glad you’re here! I’m just saying that if you’re reading, it’s likely for a reason, and that reason is probably related to wanting to know my business since I have chosen to write about my business!

One of my favorite movie lines of all time is when Amy Poehler is talking to Molly Shannon in “Baby Mama” and she says “Bitch, I don’t know your life!” Well… all y’all know my life. I hope that since I’ve basically forsaken all privacy and pretty much fed you my raw emotion, that you at least find it entertaining.


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