Tuna Salad Nightmare... Huh?

Every once in a while I get so restless that I can’t take the time to ponder any one particular topic. So on those days, I give y’all a blog where I just ramble on. Today is one of those days. It’s Friday, which ordinarily makes me happy, but it’s also overcast and cold, which makes me sad. So, I’m about neutral on the emotional scale right now since one good thing is coupled with a few not so good things and therefore cancel each other out. I’m just glad the weekend is here. I’m planning to take it easy and get my mind right for next week. The time changes late Saturday/early Sunday, so don’t forget to spring forward (clocks move ahead one hour). I only posted twice this week. Shameful. I'm back on my grind, so expect a new post Monday… Have a safe and restful weekend!


So, this morning started out kinda strange. First of all, I was wearing my brand new, very warm, Kelly green coat this morning because the temperature has dropped significantly in DC in the last few days. Well, the zipper got stuck and I couldn’t get out of it! I was really afraid that I was going to spend the day wearing a very cute, but very WARM coat all day because the zipper just wouldn’t budge! I came into the office and stopped at the Front Desk to ask the receptionist to help me get out of my coat. He pulled and tugged, but finally got it loose. Thank God!

Anyway, I am tired of this weather fluctuating all over the place, but such is DC in March. Jeremy’s grandma used to always say “Beware of March. It’ll give you pneumonia.” She was not lying. One day it’s 70 degrees and sunny, two days later it’s 30 degrees with snow flurries. The body was not made to handle such drastic weather changes! But, one thing is for sure about March in DC, they do not lie when they say that “It comes in like a lion and out like a lamb.” On March 1, I was headed to the mall with my mom and the wind nearly knocked my car off the Beltway! That was nuts. The day before, there was hardly even a breeze and then on 3/1, the roaring wind appeared. Crazy how God works! But I bet that by the time March 31 rolls around, it’ll be mild. I cannot wait!

Wow. That was totally a stream of consciousness.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Every year, I observe the Easter/Lenten season. The Lenten period encompasses the weeks between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday – there are approximately 40 days between the two holy days. Catholics take this time very seriously. The season is associated with sacrifice. The Lord sacrificed his life for our sins and now we should make sacrifices to acknowledge what he gave up for us. I have sacrificed things that I love for the last four of five years. One year, I gave up fried foods. Another year, I gave up soda. The next year, I gave up sweets. This year, I gave up meat…

Now, the meat thing has been kind of difficult. I grew up in a household where my mother cooked dinner EVERY night. And, a meal was not complete unless it had a protein, a starch, and at least one vegetable. So, to me, I didn’t understand being a vegetarian. It just seemed like a major part of your meal would be missing ALL THE TIME. We’ve already discussed how much I love food in general, so that’s why all my sacrifices at Lent have centered on food. It’s one of the most important aspects of my life, so to muck around with it defines true sacrifice for me.

Anyway, giving up meat has taken a conscious effort. I have to think about EVERY food choice that I make. Sometimes, I am afraid that I will forget that I am not supposed to eat meat and that I’ll buy something at lunch, eat it, and THEN realize that I am eating meat and I have just ruined my fast! So far, that hasn’t happened but, it’s constantly on my mind. I’ll be sitting at my desk at work, thinking of what I’m having for lunch and – immediately – chicken or beef or pork will pop into my head and I have to remind myself that I am not supposed to eat any of that! Last weekend, I went to brunch with a friend who was visiting from NYC and I ordered waffles and then couldn’t think of a side that would compliment them. Who eats waffles without bacon or sausage?? It just doesn’t seem right! In the end, I ate some scrambled eggs and fruit with them and it turned out just fine. I didn’t even miss the swine.

In addition to fasting on meat, I had also decided to cut back on sweets. Not in association with Lent, but just in general. I did some reflection and realized that I eat something sweet EVERYDAY. That cannot be healthy. So, I decided that it would be best to limit my baked goods consumption to once per week. So far it’s been tough, but I’ve been doing a pretty good job. Besides, I’m not supposed to eat sweets on the Fat Smash at all, so you can see that I’ve already modified that plan a lil bit. Hello! Before you judge me, I am a work in progress, remember?!

Ok, so yesterday was my boss’s birthday. We bought her a cake… my most FAVORITE cake in the whole world – golden fudge cake, which consists of moist yellow cake and fudge frosting. It is probably one of the most delicious desserts ever. Well, when we started passing slices around the conference room table, a plate got to me and I couldn’t resist. (Mind you, I had already had a chocolate chip pecan cookie from Whole Foods the night before and it was supposed to have lasted me a week! There goes that plan right on down the commode…) The cake was soooo ooey-gooey and delicious. I did not regret eating it. Not even one bit. Sad, I know.

So, this leads me to the dream.

Last night, I had a very weird dream. I dreamed that I was taking a long trip by bus. I’m not sure where I was going, but there were a lot of people on the bus and I knew all of them. My cousin was sitting next to me and I was vaguely aware that my aunt was on the bus, but I don’t remember seeing her. We made a rest stop in a place that looked a lot like Clarendon, Virginia. (Now, I’ve only been to Clarendon twice. In fact, I have lived in DC my whole life and the second time I ventured over that way was this past weekend for that aforementioned brunch. As I left Georgetown for Virginia by way of the Key Bridge, I realized that it was the first time I had EVER crossed the Key Bridge. In my life! Even I was surprised by that one. But, I digress…)

Everyone unloaded from the bus and went into this one grocery store to pick up a snack. I made a beeline for the sandwich case that held a bunch of different wrap sandwiches. I could see the labels on the sandwiches and most of them were roast beef, turkey and chicken. I couldn’t eat any of them because I was, apparently, fasting from meat in my dream. I saw that there was ONE tuna salad sandwich left (in case I forgot to mention this earlier, I AM eating fish and seafood, just no red meat, chicken, or “the other white meat”). I grabbed it before anyone else could and made my way to the cashier. I took out money to pay and put my sandwich on the conveyor belt. The person in front of me, who did not appear to be from the bus I had been riding on, also had a wrap sandwich on the conveyor belt. Just then, my cousin came over to speak to me and distracted me for a few seconds. The person in front of me had moved on and the cashier rang up my wrap and told me how much it would cost. I paid the money and took the sandwich from him.

When I looked at it, I noticed that the package said “Chicken salad wrap”. I had read it before and it clearly said “Tuna salad wrap”. I then realized what he had done. He had accidentally given the man who was in line before me my tuna sandwich. I was furious! I told him about his error and he looked at me with absolutely no expression on his face. Then, I started to panic because I knew that there were no more non-meat options in the sandwich case and that the bus would be leaving soon. I couldn’t eat the chicken salad wrap because then I would be breaking my fast, but I had to think fast because if I didn’t get anything to eat, I would starve on the bus! I began to look around for other options and all of a sudden, everything in the store had meat in it. Even the gum in the checkout line had been stamped with the words “Contains meat”. Then, I started screaming and woke up.

Weird, huh?

Not as weird as my friend who just got a new Crackberry (a.k.a Blackberry) and told me she had a dream that she was pregnant, but had the opportunity to handpick her baby. When she got to the place where the babies were being held, she scrolled through their bassinets like they were Blackberry icons.

Yeah, I know. Crazy!

So, the point of ALL that backstory I gave you above was because in my subconscious, I am obviously disturbed and concerned by my meat fast. It is very hard to plan a veggie menu EVERYDAY. I am tired of beans, tired of tuna, tired of vegetables. Yesterday, they served BBQ chicken in the cafeteria and I would’ve given my right arm to have a taste. (Come on, we all know that black people love their chicken. Add some BBQ sauce and we are in HOG HEAVEN!!) It was so hard to resist it, but I did. I actually had to pray over my food that I could get it down because I really just wanted some crispy bacon or greasy sausage and instead I was eating some dry ass mahi mahi, which was infinitely better for my heart, but just not as tasty. I’m sure that all this contributed to my tuna salad nightmare. And, as Daddy always says, sweets give you bad dreams. I went from having none to have two servings in two days and I’m sure that had something to do with it.

Pray for me about this fast. It’s getting to me! Curried chicken is being served for lunch today. Thank God I can’t stand the taste or smell (yuck) of curry. I know this is blasphemy to my Caribbean and Indian peoples, but that shit is just stank. I can’t even do it. I suppose that would be a good dieting aid! I’ll just sprinkle curry on everything!