Tuesday, March 03, 2009

The Rare Find

So, today, I discovered something that truly shocked the hell out of me. Honestly, not much shocks and/or surprises me anymore… especially when it comes to men… and this particular thing that I learned did, in fact, involve a member of the other gender.

Remember when I told y’all about the dude that actually WANTED to exit the dating game to settle down and get married? And remember I told you about how great he was and how he was so smart, and educated, although he was a lazy Christian, but still a good catch and an overall rare find? And remember, again, when I told you that he wasn’t interested in me?

Well, I was wrong.

No, I wasn’t wrong about the fact that he actually WANTS to get married. He does.

And I wasn’t wrong about him being great, and smart, and educated, and a Christian (albeit a lazy), or about him being a good catch and an overall rare find. He is.

But guess what? Turns out he might’ve been interested in me after all.

Go figure.

The reason he’d not expressed this interest to me before was because he’d asked our mutual friend for my phone number some time ago and she quizzed him for 30 minutes about his intentions. I love that girl. She’s no-nonsense. I remember the mutual friend mentioning to me that Rare Find had asked for my number. She told me that she’d questioned him at length about why he would need my contact info and he said he needed to “ask [me] a question”. I didn’t think much of it at the time. After all, I’d encountered him at plenty of events that we’d both attended over the years and he never seemed to pay me even a little bit of attention. So, I figured that he, indeed, just needed to “ask [me] a question”. I told her it was cool to give him my number. He never called. Said question was never asked. Life moved on.

Rare Find stressed to me that he does not have “permission” to pursue any of our mutual friend’s friends (he was friends with our mutual friend first, obviously). And, I can TOTALLY respect that. The last thing I’d want is for us to become involved and then for things to get ugly and THEN for things to get weird between the three of us. Three's a crowd. And, that’d be no fun at all.

He told me that he’s thought I was adorable since he first laid eyes on me.

Like, whoa! Really? Mmmkay. I like the sound of that.

Later in the conversation, he mentions, again, that he’s found me adorable since Day 1. I blush uncontrollably in an “aww shucks”/ “golly, these compliments are too much for me to handle” type of way, which he finds even more adorable. A lot of “adorable” gets thrown around and, even though it sounds a lot like “cute”, which we all know I hate, and it’s not really the equivalent of “beautiful” or “sexy”, I know a compliment when I hear one and I gladly accept it.

But, by Rare Find’s own admission, he actually isn’t the nice guy that I think he is. (I believe this is a bunch of bullshit… he is actually a kind man with a beautiful mind, but if he wants to believe he’s a bona fide heartbreaker with quintessential asshole qualities, I’m gonna let him live.) Rare Find told me that he thinks that I’m an “angel” and because he’s not… well, he’s no “demon”, but he’s no “angel” (according to his own assessment, mind you)… he wants to save me the heartbreak of getting involved with him. He doesn’t do so well with “nice girls”.



I’ve learned the hard way that, as the saying goes, “when someone tells you who they are, believe them the first time”. No sense waiting around to see if he’s telling the truth. He likely is. Although I consider myself to be a good judge of character and I think he’s harmless, I’ll take his word that he’s a d-bag.

I am saddened that I missed out on an opportunity with him. I still think he’s a decent catch and I’d love to have been the one who caught him (or, in this case, perhaps, the one who got caught). But just knowing that he found me interesting (and “adorable”) enough to even ask for my phone number – even though he never used it – is comforting. (Maybe I'm the marrying kind after all!) And being reminded of all those good things - like the fact that in at least one person's eyes, I'm "adorable") about myself did a whole lot for the ol’ self-esteem... if you know what I mean.


Goodie said...

You are right to believe him when he says he is a jerk. One of the players that I have on the bench told me "They call me troublesome love" my response was, that title fits me as well. He and I go to war. The war is senseless to me as I don't see I would ever call him off the bench and give him real floor time. But I know for sure, if I cared enough he would be troublesome!

Anonymous said...

probably best you believed him and left it alone. if he is callin himself a bad guy, chances are, if you got involved, he'd prove your 'good guy' assessment wrong. may not be worth the pain to find out. if he really is a good catch though, and meant for you to catch, it'll happen. but i think you did the right thing in taking the compliment and running for safety. and for the record, you ARE adorable. you're also the marrying kind, no one has been worthy as yet, that's all.