Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired

So... A lot of people have been giving me grief about Junior since I last posted. Let me make this extremely clear to you people out there - no matter how "funny" or "amusing" you may find Junior, he is not now, nor will he EVER be a prospect for yours truly. I'm sure that he is a blessing... to SOMEbody, just not THIS body. I actually haven't seen him this week, so maybe he's decided to give up. Fingers crossed!!

But, in the continuing saga of men who want to date me and in whom I have no interest at all, this morning I was confronted by a man who literally made me laugh out loud (and not in a good way). Admittedly, I didn't handle the situation in the most tactful manner, but the shit was downright hilarious.

I am coming down with a cold, so this morning it was more difficult than ever for me to get out of bed. I got dressed and made my way to the train. I listened to my iPod the whole time I was on the Metro and then walked bleary-eyed off the train toward my office building. Before I made it to the escalator, this dude taps me on my shoulder. Now, first of all, I was about to knock his ass out because he tapped me on the same side I was carrying my things and he made the mistake of touching the MJ bag. And lemme tell you, NOBODY touches the MJ without permission.

So, anyway, I side-stepped him and looked at him like he was crazy.

As you may recall, I'm wearing my iPod at this very moment and my music was rather loud, so at this point, I am reading his lips and it seems as though he has formed his lips to say, "Can we go to lunch?". But I refuse to believe that is what he has asked me. So, I just stare stupidly at him and take out one of my headphones.

"Huh?" I say.

"Can we go to lunch?" he repeats.

Ah ha. Just what I thought.

"No, thanks," I respond.

He takes a step back and looks me up and down.
"What?" he asks.

"No, thanks," I repeat.

Surprisingly, I have managed to keep a straight face up until now (if you know me, you’ll know that I have a tough time controlling my facial expressions), but here's where I lose my composure. Homeboy looks startled, taken aback, and GENUINELY surprised that I said “no, thanks” to his question. He is literally looking like he just cannot wrap his mind around the fact that I wouldn't be interested in going to lunch with him. And, the look of astonishment that spread across his grill caused me to burst out laughing in his face! He looks at me with an expression of pure disgust, turns, and walks in the opposite direction. I shake my head and brush it off. Then, I chuckled from the station to my desk.

Reading this now – on the train after the workday is over - it seems like what I did was harsh. I mean, I'm the same one who complains about not meeting good men and maybe this was "the One", right?


Any dude who could get his approach THAT wrong is not the one for me. And what was so wrong about his approach? Well, number one, his appearance. Dude was probably in his mid- to late 30s and was wearing super baggy jeans, a t-shirt with glitter on it (DC dudes, what is up with your obsession with the Bedazzler? Glitter and sequins and shit do not belong on men's clothing/hats/sneakers!!!) and stunna shades in the underground –DARK - Metro station.

Then, he touched me. Well, actually he touched my MJ, which quite possibly could’ve been a more serious affront than actually touching ME! You do NOT need to touch to talk. Invading my personal space is not a good way to start off a conversation... especially that early in the morning.

Finally, he got his opening ALL wrong! How about an "excuse me" or even some other small-talk starter? But to begin (what you think is going to be) a conversation with "can we go to lunch" and to just start off cold... You clearly know nothing -NADA- about women.

So... thinking back on it now, I probably should not have laughed at him. And maybe if his presentation had been more on point I might have actually entertained his question. Ordinarily, I am not a rude or mean person, because I don't think of myself as particularly stunning, as long as a man approaches me respectfully, I am usually flattered enough to be at least polite. At worst, I may make it a "teaching moment" and say "Ok, bruh. Let me tell you what you did wrong." But this morning I was sick and late for work and didn't have the energy to be flattered and certainly didn't have the time to teach a grown man a damn thing.

Dear Lord, I hope I am not blocking my blessings for having to check that fool, but I just couldn’t hold in the laughter.

Anyway, I honestly think I’m just frustrated that the ones that I don’t want seem to be the most aggressive about wanting me. I’m tired of the Juniors and the Bedazzled aggressors of the world! Why can’t the ones I like just like me and the ones I don’t just leave me the hell alone?


Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I literally started bursting out laughing, so much so that I had to close my office door in case someone heard me. You know who I am. Your M&S Lunch buddy!