Friday, April 04, 2008

Step Your Game Up, Pt. II

I do apologize for the recycled blogs. Things are going crazy over here. But, as soon as I can get my mind right, I got some thangs for ya.

Bear with me... I always keep my promises.

Hopefully, you haven't forgotten the first 5 tips. Keep following my lead and Date ..2 (and ..3 and ..4 and ..5 and so on...) is in the BAG.

6. Show her chivalry isn't dead.
Again, most of these things seem like common sense, but here goes: when exiting the car, attempt to open her door for her; if she does not wait for you to open the door, go to the passenger side of the car and take her hand in an effort to help her out of the vehicle; when walking on the street, walk on the outside of the sidewalk closest to the street, leaving her protected on the inside; when entering the date venue, walk a little ahead of her, open the door for her and allow her to enter the establishment before you; when the date brings you to a place where you will be seated, pull out her chair from the table; help her take off her coat and hang it for her; if she has to leave to use the restroom, stand until she leaves the table. These things might seem corny, but I guarantee positive results.

7. Be a good conversationalist.
Because this is a first date, you want to make a good first impression, so, I would suggest avoiding controversial conversation topics. Abortion is not a good topic for first date. Similarly, if you know that your date is a sports aficionado, then sure, feel free to talk to her about the record of the local football team, or the amazing play in the game last week. Outside of this type of woman, sports are not an exciting topic and I would urge you to avoid them unless she brings them up. I would also advise you to never discuss past relationships. No woman wants to hear you talk about your ex-girlfriend on a first date. This date is a time for you two to learn more about each other. Talk about your families, your jobs, where you went to school, what types of things you like to do in your spare time. If all else fails, tell her how great she looks and then compliment something she is wearing. That's sure to get a conversation started.

8. The Check.
No matter what happens, remember this: You are on a DATE. On a date – at least on the first date – YOU PAY. For everything. Even if she offers to pay, you don't accept. If you allow her to pay or to even go "dutch" (splitting the bill between the two of you), this is not a real date. You may be immediately banished to "friend" status. If that's what you want, then hey, you've figured out the best way to let a girl down easy. But, if you find that you really like this woman, pay for everything on the first few dates. Some women like to pay, so if she aggressively insists, let her; however, even these women will appreciate it if you at least attempt to pick up the check on the first date. Which brings me to another point – you know your budget for the date. Your date does not. So, please be careful that you don't take her to a place that you know you cannot afford. This is your responsibility. Take it seriously.

9. The Ride Home.
By now, if things are going well, be sure to ask her if she's ready to go home or if she'd like to keep the date going. If she doesn't want to go home, but you're out of money, then suggest that you take a walk or go grab a cup of coffee or something else equally low-budget. When you do finally head home, keep the conversation light. And, this is a good time to ask her out again. The biggest issue here is to kiss or not to kiss? I would let her lead. If she wants to kiss you, her body language will give her away. Try this: lean in for a hug and see where things go. Some women absolutely DO NOT kiss on the first date, for others kissing is no big deal. Since you don't know where this woman stands, play it safe and assume that she doesn't kiss.

10. Follow up.
Follow-up is important after any meeting and how you do it is critical. If you did not bring a token of appreciation to the date, I would suggest following up with one. Flowers with a note is more than sufficient. If all else fails, a nice phone call or voicemail with a request for a second date is just fine, too. Most importantly, call/email/stop by when you say you will. I mean, if you really like this woman, what's the use of keeping her waiting? If you're not interested, follow-up by email anyway and say, "Saturday was fun. Talk to you soon." Make sure that your message indicates friendship and not the intention of dating again. There is no sense in creating false hope, but you also don't want to burn bridges.

I know that some of this stuff sounds old-fashioned. But, hey, old fashioned works – even on us contemporary, sophisticated, independent women of the millennium. Grandpa got grandma, right? And dad got mom. Seems like this formula has been more than effective. Don't believe me? Ask grandpa. I bet grandma loved #6 back in 1945.

1 comment:

JG-HIS-STORY said...

I think this all make sense. Reading this blog that kelli wrote has enlighten me to be more open to detail when im out dating. Too bad I already do and knew all this information..smiles

love ya